Over the next six weeks, Jayne regretted and took back his decision to go with Sovereign many, many times; so many, in fact, that Monty finally told him to shut up and deal with it.  “We’re in the Open Black now an’ we ain’t turnin’ back, just ‘cause you got cold feet,” Monty’d said.  Many, many times.  Jayne grumbled and stayed in his bunk as much as possible.

            As Monty talked to Mal over the Wave, Jayne gleaned little factoids about his former crewmates; Kaylee would have some scarring, mostly on her hands and stomach, but it wouldn’t be too bad at all—Jayne sent up a thanks to Book for looking out for her.  Simon still hadn’t proposed; Jayne had snorted at that, he didn’t think Simon would ever get the gumption up to do it. 

            He learned about Zoe’s arm getting shot to hell—but not how it happened—and felt bad for her and little Derrial.  He missed that kid; he hoped Mal or Simon had learned a thing or two about kids since he left, neither had known much about kids then and it had fallen on Jayne to do most of the male bonding work and take some of the load off Zoe.  Part of it, too, had been in the hopes that she’d come around to liking him just a little and give him her approval with Mal; he’d tried hard to earn it, too, but she’d never really given it and now he knew why. 

            River had apparently trained up well, taking Zoe’s spot on jobs with Zoe as the getaway pilot, but nothing else was new there and Jayne couldn’t ask questions, just had to take what information was offered up.

            The way out was uneventful; Monty decided not to tell Mal about Jayne being on the Sovereign or the rules that would be in effect when the two crews merged.  He also decided to evaluate Mal’s newest gun hand, Cal, just in case Mal and Jayne got back together by the end of all this. 

            To keep busy, and make sure everyone would know their jobs come time to do them, Monty made everyone run the sequence once a day after lunch to simulate hooking both boats up and all the checks associated with doing so; the rest of each day—other than the usual chores and dinner which Monty held family style too—was each person’s own, much to everyone’s relief.  The crew breathed a collective sigh when the Sovereign entered Zeta space thirty three days after she passed Sirus, relieved to be in populated space once again.

Monty Waved Mal to let them know that they’d arrived; the crew was going to stopover on Diamondhead to fuel and stock up and give them all a day and night off ship to do as they pleased, not that there was much to do, but it was something.  Meanwhile, Mal arranged to have Serenity towed into orbit to await them.

---

            As the two ships docked—forward hatches matching up so that their bridges were nearly even, though Serenity was much shorter and smaller overall—Mal breathed a sigh of relief; they were nearly on their way home. 

The strain of the last few weeks began to catch up with him; he’d taken work as a ranch hand to help feed the crew while Zoe bartended and River bussed tables at a diner.  Simon tended to Kaylee’s injuries and they split the jobs of watching both the ship and Der.  While he’d enjoyed being outside all day on horseback, reminiscent of his youth on Shadow, it brought with it the painful memories of his home and planet that no longer was, having been turned uninhabitable by the devastation of a proton bomb in the War.

As the airlock opened, Monty stepped through onto Serenity by himself; Mal was instantly suspicious, turning his questioning gaze to his old friend.  Monty crooked a finger and pointed to the galley, “C’mon, we gotta talk ‘fore we go anywhere.”  Wary, Mal, followed by an equally bewildered Zoe, trailed behind. 

Sitting themselves across the table from their War buddy, they waited for Monty to begin.  Clearing his throat, “I’m sorry for the late hour of this, but for the trip back, ‘fore we do anything to tie the ships together, we need to set some rules.”

Not happy about this development, Mal glowered, “Or what?”

“Or we leave,” Monty said to Mal and Zoe’s astonishment.  He held up a hand to silence their objections, “Look.  I got a crewmember who’s got a history in regards ta you, Mal; as is, I had ta promise him that I’d set rules ‘tween you two ta get him to come.  Which he’s doin’ only outta respect for me.”  Well, that’s not entirely true, but they don’t need to know that, Monty thought, but it sounds good.

Helplessly pissed off, Mal flapped his arms, “I ain’t really got a choice, Monty now do I?”

“Nope; it’s why we’re doin’ it now instead of before.  ‘Sides, they ain’t that involved; you stay away from him.  You don’t talk to him, unless it’s about either ship an’ work related, you don’t pull him aside for jobs—matter a’ fact, anything for him ta do should just go through me, make it easier on everyone.  That little ball a’ sunshine you got for a mechanic still need a helper?  I thought that might be a good spot for him for a bit; fairly isolated from you an’ he’s got a little experience with a firefly.”

Expecting there to be more demands coming, Mal gave into this one easily, “He trustworthy?  I don’t wanna have ta worry ‘bout Kaylee gettin’ taken advantage of when she can’t defend herself all that well for a while.”

Nodding, Monty answered, “It’s why I hired him.  Been workin’ for me over seven months now too without a single problem.  Big reason he didn’t wanna come was he didn’t want to start problems ‘tween me and you.”

Monty got up from the table, “That’s about it; I’ll go get my guys an’ start settin’ things up.”  Almost to the door he turned back to Mal and Zoe who were still sitting at the table too stunned to move, having expected there to be more to go over and discuss, “Oh an’ Mal?”

Blinking out of his trance, Mal answered dumbly, “Uh, yes Monty?”

“You owe me a new mug.  Broke my favorite one inta a bunch of tiny pieces on account a’ you.  I’ll expect it when we get back.”

Mal and Zoe stared at each other for a minute until they realized that they still didn’t know who it was that took issue with Mal.  Getting up, they hurried after Monty who’d already disappeared into his own ship, directing his crew to set things up.  Seeing new faces emerge with cording, wires, and other small equipment, they watched for any familiar faces that would have issue with Serenity’s Captain.

They were still watching when there was a great shriek from the engine room; glancing at each other, Mal and Zoe ran for it, hands on guns.  What they found had Mal grabbing the door frame for support as his breath left his lungs and he fell unconscious to the floor.

Kaylee was enthusiastically alternately hugging and kissing Jayne Cobb as best she could while he uncomfortably tried to back away and affectionately fend her off.

---

“I can’t believe you’re here!  You stupid hundan; I can’t believe you left without sayin’ g’bye.  Or leavin’ a way ta keep in touch,” Kaylee smacked Jayne on the chest, wincing as it hurt her own still injured hands more than it did him.  Instantly, though the cheer was back, “But you’re here!  Oooh my Gosh, we gotta tell Simon!  An’ River!  Ooooh, I can’t believe you’re here; I got so much ta tell ya!”  Kaylee shrieked in excitement as she danced around the engine room, running back to hug and kiss him every two seconds.

Awkwardly, Jayne would pat her on the shoulder, “How ‘bout you let me get these cables plugged in first, Kaylee-girl.  You an’ me ‘re gonna have all the time in the world next couple weeks ‘cause I’m gonna be your helper in here so don’t you worry none ‘bout us not gettin’ time, Dong ma?”

He hadn’t missed it when Mal and Zoe had appeared in the doorway, though Mal had promptly disappeared; probably turned the other way upon seeing him, which suited Jayne just fine. 

Zoe still stood there, stock-still with shock, “Jayne?” she got out after a minute, watching him as he went about getting things set up properly, “You’re workin’ for Monty?”

He didn’t look at her as he nodded twice, “More’n seven months now.  Gonna be helpin’ out Kaylee in here for the ride back.”  He looked at her challengingly; he still obviously didn’t forgive her for before, “’Sume Monty talked to ya an’ set the rules?  We ain’t kiddin’ on ‘em Zoe; I’m only here ‘cause Monty asked me to, but it ain’t like I’m happy about it none.” 

He was done setting things up and moved to leave, noticing Mal unconscious on the floor, “I ain’t gonna make it hard for him ta stay outta my way an’ leave me alone, Zoe,” he said seriously.  “’M gonna pretty much be in here or on the Sovereign with as little hangin’ out in public areas as I can.  So if he is gettin’ in my way, it’s cause he’s doin’ it on purpose an’ you ain’t keepin’ a tight enough leash on him.”

            She nodded, acknowledging that Jayne was being more than fair under the circumstances; it radiated off him that he wasn’t happy about being back aboard Serenity and it wouldn’t take much for someone (Mal) to rub their ex-mercenary the wrong way.  Moving aside, she let him pass; watching as he stepped carefully around the fallen Captain, making sure not to touch him in anyway.  He’s still hurtin’, she realized, a wave of guilt coming over her as she thought about her part in the way things happened.

---

            The first week went smoothly; the connections went up just fine, the clamps holding the ships together were placed right, minimizing the drag on the Sovereign’s engines, and the crews got along for the most part. 

It was smooth going for everyone but Zoe.  Mal was becoming an issue; he couldn’t follow the rules.

While he didn’t overtly break them, by unnecessarily going where Jayne was—usually the engine room—the Captain was almost always just down the hall or some other place where Jayne would have to pass by him at some point.  “Keeping an eye on things,” Mal said when Zoe called him on it one evening.

She snorted and stared him down until he fidgeted uncomfortably, “He’s here, Zoe,” Mal told her urgently, his voice raw with emotion, “Jayne’s here; an’ I at least gotta try to make up for what I did to him.” 

He was silent for a moment, and then his voice barely more than a whisper, “An’ then if by some chance, I get really, really lucky, I just might get him back.  That alone’s worth riskin’ it; I know what I lost an’ I aim ta do my damnedest to try and get it back.”

“There are other people on this ship, Sir; people you ain’t so rightly been lookin’ after these last months.  What about them?  Did you even think abut them?  Is it worth risking their lives just so you can get Jayne back?”

The look on Mal’s face gave Zoe her answer; he hadn’t.  “I gotta try, Zoe,” Mal said quietly, brokenly, his voice hinting at the desperation he felt at taking this chance.

Zoe walked away in disgust, deciding once and for all to make a certain call once they got within range.

---

            “Hey Kaylee?”  Jayne asked her as he worked on getting the fuel pump put back together; according to Kaylee, Mal’d apparently been able to get a good deal on a bunch of spare firefly parts on Kalorie taken from a junkered earlier version of his.  With the parts, the two of them had enough little jobs to keep them busy the whole way back.

            “Yeah, Jayne?”  She was fully engrossed in her romance novel, unable to really do anything yet other than order him around so she gave him a list of jobs for the day and he’d follow it, asking her if he had a question or was unsure about how something went.  The two of them—well Kaylee had done most of it—were pretty much talked out at this point, spending all their time together during the day.    He’s really getting good around my girl, be as good as me pretty soon, she thought.

            “You’re a pretty good judge a’ character; how’s that new guy a’ yours…Cal ’s it?”  He asked, brow furrowed as he tried to remember the guy’s name; the two men had only really seen each other in passing.

            She put her book down and eyed the part Jayne was working on, telling him to invert it, and watching Jayne’s face light up as it finally slid into place.  Thinking over his question, she said thoughtfully, “He’s a good guy, I suppose; keeps kinda to himself a lot, but he’s always been real nice an’ don’t try ta steal Simon or mess with my girl so me an’ him’s shiny,” she finished with a sunny smile.

            She knew Jayne was serious when he didn’t smile back; just kept looking like he was mulling over something, “Why you ask,” concerned now.

            He shifted a little self-consciously, concentrating extra hard on the pump, “Well, I saw him an’ Marie—she’s Monty’s niece, ya know, the pilot?—spendin’ time together last couple nights an’ ‘m just tryin’ ta look out for her; she had a real rough time a’ it a while back an’ I don’t want her gettin’ hurt by him or nothin’.” 

            Kaylee looked at her hands and settled for elbowing him on the arm, “Aww, that’s right sweet a’ ya Jayne!  No, I think she’ll be okay with him, he’s a good guy; been real steady.”  Jayne nodded and finished the rest of the pump in silence while she went back to her reading.

            Neither of them noticed that Mal had snuck close to the engine room door (again) and was listening in, desperate for any bits of Jayne he could get.  The fact that Jayne was making inroads into caring about his crew on the Sovereign, made Mal think; he needed to somehow arrange some alone time with Jayne, and soon.

            Mal started as he turned around, barely managing to keep silent as he saw a figure intently watching him watch Jayne.  The figure smiled and motioned for him to follow it. 

            Mal did, hope rising in his chest that he may have found an ally in his quest to get Jayne back.

---

            Twelve days in, Jayne decided to take a little break from the engine; he knew Mal was supposed to be over on the Sovereign with Monty all afternoon and evening celebrating their version of U-Day—mostly getting rowdy and drunk on Kaylee’s engine wine and telling War stories. 

It was time to go visit the little guy; Jayne had been itching to since he’d come back on board.  He hadn’t really been able to spend any time talking with River as he’d been wanting to do either; Mal had taken to stalking the main passageway as much as possible, making it hard for Jayne to leave the engine room without passing him by and getting a ‘casual’ touch from Serenity’s Captain when he did. 

Keepin’ to the rules, my ass, Jayne snorted as he let Kaylee know where he was going and that he’d be back by later to check on everything before he went to bed.  He knew Kaylee was itching to get back to her girl and Simon’s final check up on her hands tomorrow would determine if she could slowly re-take over her duties or if she’d have to wait a couple more weeks; Kaylee’s hands—while healing fine—weren’t quite as far along in the healing process as Simon wanted them to be at this point.

Jayne knew River would be the one Zoe asked to watch Der, probably so the kid could play with his dad’s dinosaurs and look out at the stars while he and River played on the bridge.  He hoped he’d be able to kill to birds with one stone, in a way, and be able to spend time with both of them tonight.

---

            Mal was supposed to be over on the Sovereign drinking so it was quite the shock for Jayne to find him on the bridge with little Der in his lap as the toddler fiddled with the off-line controls, pretending to fly.  Both men stared at each other; one in shock, the other with cautious hope and faked surprise.

            The words were out of Jayne’s mouth before he could stop them, “Thought you was s’posed to be over there drinkin’ with Monty,” he said starkly.

            Der’s head popped up at the sound of Jayne’s voice; he didn’t know the face of the new man on the bridge, but he knew that voice.  Excitedly, he turned to look at his old friend, “Jay!” he shouted, arms up with the hope of getting picked up.  His chance to slip away and come back another time to visit Der gone, Jayne sucked it up and put his dealings with Mal aside and focused on his main reason for coming up.

            Both men smiled to different degrees at the child’s antics as Jayne stepped forward to pluck him—while being very careful not to touch Mal—off Mal’s lap.  “How you been Little Man?  Huh?  You been good for your Mama while I been gone?” he asked the child with mock seriousness.

            Der nodded vigorously, “Uh huh!  I good!  Miss you,” he said, hugging Jayne tightly again.  Turning away so Mal wouldn’t see, Jayne closed his eyes and savored the paternal feelings toward the child he once again felt coursing through him; he’d missed Der more than he’d thought. 

            Before Jayne could get the sudden lump in his throat out of the way to say ‘I missed you too’, Mal’s quiet voice said softly, sincerely, “He ain’t the only one who’s missed you, ya know.” 

Jayne would later put it down to a combination of a moment of weakness and being caught off guard by Mal’s statement that made him turn around, finding Mal standing solemnly just now in front of him.  He could only stand there, riveted to the spot, dimly aware that he still held Der as Mal kept talking; eyes on Jayne’s, holding him transfixed.

“I missed you Jayne; nothin’s the same since you been gone.  My bunk’s lonely, my bed’s cold, heart’s pretty much froze over again; all ‘cause I was sorely misguided an’ the worst kind a’ hundan ever was descended from Earth-That-Was,” Mal said quietly, close enough to chance a light touch on Jayne’s arm where it rest curled around Der.

Unfortunately, he did it with his left hand; the ring flashing in the light.

Jayne’s trance was broken as he recognized the ring he’d planned to give Mal still being worn on Mal’s appropriate finger.  With wounded horror written all over his face, Jayne backed away, his voice trembling badly, “You—you shouldn’t be wearin’ that; that ain’t for you.  Was for the you I thought you was.  Take it off,” Jayne said as fiercely as he could manage, but it came out almost as a desperate plea.

Mal spun the ring around on his finger, fiddling with it as he replied, “I ain’t taken it off since I found it, Jayne, and I ain’t never gonna take it off.  Not unless I’m dead an’ someone else does it for me.  This here’s a symbol a’ me sayin’ I’m yours, Jayne; and I am.  That ain’t gonna change whether you ever forgive me or not.  ‘S how it is.”

Jayne practically threw Der into Mal’s arms and took off, doing his best to ignore the child’s protests of ‘Jay come back!’ and just Mal altogether as he strove to put as much distance as he could between himself and Serenity in general.

He barely made it to the safe confines of his bunk on the Sovereign before the tides overtook him and he collapsed in a corner, gulping air to keep from losing it.

All the pain, the rage, the hurt, and the millions of other emotions he’d felt as a result of that day came rushing up from where he’d managed to keep them just below the surface and out of the way. 

He didn’t sleep that night.

---

            Der started sobbing when Jayne left the bridge and Mal was still having no luck in comforting the crying child when River returned.  Taking the child from him, she gently cradled the boy, humming softly to him as he quickly quieted, though was still confused by the goings on of earlier.

            Looking up at Mal, River said, “I told you not to touch him with your left hand; didn’t listen.  Told you not to push him; didn’t listen.”  Her face screwed up in anger as she kicked him hard (he later thanked his lucky stars that she wasn’t wearing her combat boots) in the groin causing the air to rush from his lungs and a pathetic whimper float from his lips as he collapsed to the floor.  “You made Jayne cry.”

            It took a few minutes for Mal to get back the ability to breathe, much less be able to speak, but when he did, “Thought you was helpin’ me,” he whined, guilt seizing his chest at the thought of Jayne crying.  And then he thought: Jayne was crying?! 

            River stepped in front of him to stop him from going after Jayne, “Told you: not doing it to help you.  Doing it to help Serenity.  She was happy while you two were together; wants that back.  I want her happy so I am helping.”

            Mal looked at her disbelievingly, “You were pretty close with Jayne back then, Albatross; you’re gonna tell me you ain’t doin’ this for you too, a little bit?”

River nodded, “Yes, Jayne is my friend.   Yes, I want him to stay; but I will not let you hurt him like that again.  He deserves to be at peace with your betrayal.  His happiness does not preclude yours; though it could be a derivative—a side effect—of the grand solution.  Dong ma?”

            Mal nodded defeatedly and took Der back from her and gingerly sat down in the pilot’s chair while she took the co-pilot’s side and the two discussed quietly their next step in the plan.